Accepting change in your life is hard and even harder when it is a personal change. That’s something I’ve had to sit with for the past few months. Through this time I’ve decided it was time to reevaluate my goals and reinvent myself and my business plans. 

This inner conversation isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. I had the privilege to share my vulnerable thoughts at the September Creative Mornings event on September 15. It required me to dive deep and welcome others into the unknown parts of my life and career. 

My photography journey started in 2008 ,and by 2015, I was able to pursue it full time as a freelancer. Eventually with my husband, Joshua Fortuna, we would create Fort Lion Studio in 2017. Five years later, and after having our first child, I had to make the hard decision of ending our commercial film production company and re-shifting my focus. 

All of a sudden “We” became “Me”. 

As I mentioned, this was hard, and it was not easy, because I’m still feeling like a work in progress. 

Is any of this starting to sound like your own personal journey?

I can recognize that there are others out there who are also struggling with this phase of life. I’m coming to the realization a new, and different path, is actually not so bad after all.

Photos by Alexa Forester

Throughout the process of loss and gain, I took note of what worked and didn’t work for me. I shared them in depth during my speech, but here are some of the things that have helped me during my growth and reinvention process. 

Ask for help

We’re always willing to help others since it’s easier than asking yourself deep questions and helping your own self. I personally wish I asked for help sooner. My job inquiries dried up. I assumed that things were going to be fine. However, once I finally did ask for help, people showed up– giving me insight and doors (slowly) began to open. 

Get clear

Another thing to help you is getting clear on what you want for your career, family and future. By asking myself these types of questions, and answering them truthfully, gave me the clarity I needed to craft my path forward. Most people will avoid these questions, but in order to move forward, you have to be bold enough to face them. 

Permission to focus on myself

For me– “permission” meant I needed to focus on myself.  As I mentioned before, it’s so much easier to offer help and focus on others rather than on yourself. It’s more challenging to ask yourself, “What do I need?” and “How am I going to show up for myself?”

Essentially, we would all much rather focus on anything than worry about what’s next for us in our future. 

I had the realization by not growing myself, I’m not going to be about to help anyone else. 

Shift your outlook 

My outlook has evolved, and I now embrace the momentum of change and doing what is best for my business. My career and life has been a rollercoaster, and I’ve learned to accept that. 

I’ve also accepted that it’s OK to not have your career or life look the way you initially planned. I longed for being a fashion photographer in L.A. or New York and being booked consistently. But after getting clear and shifting my outlook, I realized majority of my photography work was not high fashion at all, but rather, lifestyle and portraiture. My work is influenced by fashion, but I’m not a high fashion photographer. I discovered and learned that I don’t want to be one. I spent a lot of time reaching for a goal that sounded great, but I didn’t actually want it.

Create a strategy to mobilize 

After asking for help, getting clear, focusing on yourself and shifting your outlook then comes your strategy. This can look different for everyone, my strategy includes things such as community, environment, being at peace with the lulls, working on my portfolio, being selective with work and delegating tasks that don’t depend on my personal time or skills. 

My strategy to mobilize started with building my portfolio and getting my name out there after having the anonymity of working under Fort Lion Studio. I didn’t realize I was creating a strategy, but I knew I needed to mobilize. I was stuck in the phase that included worrying about my public image, my fears and insecurities. I mustered up the courage to fight for myself ,my career and my happiness. You with me?!

If you missed my Creative Mornings talk on ‘Re-evaluating My Depth of Field’– you can watch it by clicking here.  Don’t forget to subscribe, and follow me on Instagram @yesi.fortuna.pictures to stay in the loop of my work and new photography content.